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Benny's avatar

I have ADHD and I find more comfort in thinking about how the desocialized nature of work today is bad for everyone than I find comfort in thinking about the idea of how other people have an easier time doing things.

Letting your neurological symptoms stand in for alienation can be comforting... I messed with that a little bit but found diminishing returns.

I'm 37 and I wonder if, had I been diagnosed just a bit younger, with more of an idea of a "whole future ahead of me," and more proximity to my youthful embarassments, I would have gotten more into the pasttime of imagining that things are easier for other people. At my age and stage in life, I don't think "Ah, now that I know this about myself, it will all really make sense!"

Sometimes, I'll leave the house without a wristwatch. Before I knew I had ADHD, I did that all the time and thought "Yeah that's fine I'll just use my phone." Having the diagnosis helps me to make a different decision. Knowing that I have ADHD, I just take more seriously the idea that I'll function better with a piece of jewelry that tells the time and doesn't also browse social media or receive text messages.

Like the wristwatch, all of my coping strategies are ordinary organizational things that I just take more seriously now because of the diagnosis. When I first received the diagnosis, I was more into "neurodiversity" content and I think I became a bit depressed while consuming it. I started wondering if I was missing something... it seemed that everyone else could get validation and pride from this condition but I couldn't.

I wish I'd somehow been able to foresee that the little lifestyle changes which I always knew were important for ADHD were basically all there is that's worth doing about it. Any hope I had of reorienting my worldview and experiencing more of a sense of harmony because I now had a label for my brain... I thought that would happen and then it just didn't.

I agree with you that Freddie's pep talk kind of masks the greater reality of alienation. One thing that's tough to grapple with these days is, well, how much everything is alienation.

I think I'm slowly coming to terms with something that I suspect other "bernie bros" like me are coming to terms with: that if I truly believe that idpol nonsense is a mask of material problems, I have to accept that people who believe in idpol nonsense will respond to criticism emotionally, because it feels like criticism of the real problems that are under the silliness.

I'd never insult my sjw-style friends' dumb ideas, and it's not because "they'll yell at me," it's because I know that their idpol ideas are emotional standins for material problems. If I criticize their ideas without keeping that in mind - that if I poke a goofy idea, a real problem will feel pain - I'm just being a dick.

Your description of a home from 100 years ago was extremely vivid and got me thinking more deeply about something I've thought about many times before.

For a lot of people, having a subculture provides more hope than anything else. That's unfortuante because I think that that is unsustainable. I believe that just like Marx's "tendency of the rate of profit to decline," there's a "tendency of the psychological value you get from a subculture to decline."

And by subculture, I mean something more specific, which is the sense of elation you get when you and another person say to each other "You have that hyperspecific behavior? Oh my god so do I, we're part of something!" I think it's inevitable that one day you'll no longer feel that elation but will still feel like you must be part of it. I think that's how subcultures always decline.

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Melangell Angharad's avatar

Nice synchronicity to see this in my inbox on the day I deactivated my twitter account!

I have come across plenty of ADHD content on Instagram and TikTok which I found very relatable - but finding it relatable seemed to have more to do with the effect that spending time on Instagram and TikTok had on my mental state than with anything inherent about the way I exist in the world. It's notable that a lot of the videos either have a peppy 'why your neurodivergence is a superpower' tone or adopt a 'you probably didn't realise you were neurodivergent' angle - both of which seem to lend themselves more to identity-building than to practical help or greater understanding.

Your work on ressentiment has been so helpful for thinking with the ways in which identities tend to be expressed online in opposition to an imagined 'other' - and the effect this has on the way we relate to one another. Our needs and strengths and joys and struggles are valid in their own right and on their own terms, and it can be easy to lose sight of that, in all the convoluted steps we have to take to get them recognised and met in our current way of living. For some people, diagnoses can be really helpful in understanding and expressing their needs, in a world which views any difficulty in adapting to machine time as some kind of deviation from the norm. But diagnoses are a double-edged sword, and identity can trap us just as easily as it can help us.

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