"Why I Am Not A Family Abolitionist"
My review of Sophie Lewis's "Abolish The Family" published at Compact Magazine
I have some really neat news. I wrote a review of Sophie Lewis’s Abolish The Family for Compact Magazine, and it was published today.
Abolish The Family is not a very coherent book (and she! uses a lot! of exclamation points!!), but regardless I engage as seriously with her ideas as possible, since family abolition is part of a larger project of utopian socialism (think “fully automated luxury space communism,” etc.).
I’ve elsewhere discussed the problems with this current, including in my book coming out next year, but the basic conflict is over whether or not you can change material conditions through better technocratic organization. In other words, utopian socialists would “design” and “socially engineer” society to create their version of a better world, regardless of whether or not anyone actually wants the world they want.
It’s machine logic, and in the end a very totalitarian idea, despite being often re-narrated as anarchist or decentralized.
The family quite often becomes a favored target of this framework, something they’d either remake or abolish in favor of idealistic principles of community divorced from the really-existing ways we relate to each other, especially kinship. In the review, then, I write about my own shitty experience with family—being extremely poor and raising my two sisters and taking care of our schizophrenic mother at 13—and how I once, too, thought family should be abolished. Until, well…you’ll see in the review.
You can read my review here, and consider stopping back by here to let me know what you thought.
Thanks for introducing me to a new publication that it looks like I'd actuality enjoy.
What a gorgeous piece of writing.
You make an important point, if I may paraphrase, that the family is one of the few institutions remaining that is outside both state and market. Within a family, people make their own agreements, and they ordinarily pay for each others' services. As capitalism grew, the bulwark of the family suffered one blow after another. The extended, multi-generational family was shattered. (At one time, people lived in proximity to dozens or hundreds of relatives.) Today, the nuclear family clings on, but cedes more and more swaths of its territory. For example, many if not most families put the children in day care for 8 or more hours a day while they work. Those precious years when they are little, given over to state and market institutions.
We have a long road ahead of us to regain what we have lost. We can do it. It begins with valuing what we have lost, and what still remains to us, as precious.